


Snippets of what was, is, and what it could have been

by Bunsenpai



Series: FFXIVWrite [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Blood, Blood and Gore, Childhood, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Cooking, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Crying, Drowning, F/M, FFXIVwrite2018, Family Drama, Family Issues, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Hallucinations, Loss of Limbs, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Scarpia Ultimatim, Self Confidence Issues, They act like an old couple, Torture, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 10:15:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 12,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18737002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunsenpai/pseuds/Bunsenpai
Summary: FFXIVwrite is a challenge taking place every November on Tumblr. The user @sea-wolf-coast-to-coast who posts once a day a prompt made sometimes of only one word, the participant having then 24 hours to write something within Final Fantasy XIV.





	1. The sweet embrace

**Author's Note:**

> E for some of the graphics stuff I wrote on the free days. Actual ratings and summery will be noted in each chapter.  
> Summary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her first trip ended with a splash. Pity that the child couldn't swim.  
> Rating: T

The wind in her hair, the smell of sea salt in her nose. Before her, as far as the eye can see is an expansion of deep blue. The young miqo’te leans over the railing to get a better look at the color. Even with the sun high above the sky over her, the light simply reflects on the surface and scatter out like a pile of glitter. 

The day was too warm to be comfortable, but the sea breeze had made going outside more bearable. Her father had brought her along to the sea, where she doesn’t really know. It was the first time she’s been on a boat, and she’s taken every chance she could to explore. It’s been ages since her father had taken her out on his business ventures, who knows when it will happen again. 

Her curiosity was cut short. A swarm of dark clouds appears over the horizon, swiftly blocking the sun. The calm sea turns just as violently.  **“Watch it!”** Michiko turns to the source. To see a wooden pillar swinging towards her.

The silence filled her ears. It muffled all the yells of terror, all cries calling for her. Not a voice. Not a thought. Not even a whisper. The sound was still there, a distance chatter. But it felt more like someone has finally closed a door to a party.

Michiko felt weightless, the weight that she held onto is gone. Washed away as soon as she touched the water. Why was she so tense? Where did all this weight come from? She couldn’t will her body to move. Her eyes sting, the shapes around her blurred. Her finger grasp at the water. She could almost image herself. A small body slowly sinking deeper into the dark abyss she was starting into just moments ago. 

If this is how she is to die, it’s not too bad after all. 


	2. Silence is Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pleasant memory, it was the first time she found something so ethereally beautiful, so dazzling. She wanted nothing more than to stay  
> Rating: G

It was in her younger years when she first found the field. Michiko didn’t really remember the circumstances of why she ended up in Grindania. Yet she remembered what she was wearing. It was a dress of her mother’s design, a red and white dotted dress with a matching bow on her head and tail. To say that she wasn’t the cutest thing at the time would be a crime that came with teary puppy eyes.

She remembered wandering away from the carriage to stretch her legs. Her father tending to some crates while the driver was too busy with the Chocobos. From there, things got a bit fuzzy. Was she chasing birds? Maybe it was butterflies? Most likely it was her imagination that drove her into the woods. Singing a song, dancing around in her dress like the princesses that her mother would tell her about. What mattered was the birds and insects sing, the leaves rustling in the wind, the distant calls, and chatter of other people. 

The silence of the woods draws her deeper, the wind wrapping around her to spin her around. Michiko hopped over tiny streams, climbed on top of fallen trees to walk down its length, pick herself up whenever she has fallen over a root. She cared little for where she went, only that every step of the way brought pure, innocent laughter and joy. 

The second she stepped foot into the field all the noise died out. As if everything around her held their breath. The sight before her was enchanting, like nothing she’s ever seen before. It wasn’t like the field back in the city where everything is organized and in lines. Here, that didn’t matter, a patch of grass here, a bunch of flowers over there. Heaven on earth. Michiko didn't utter a thing.

Before she could take another step, the silence broke. An unfamiliar voice calling out her name. She looks around, realizing only moments after that it came from the same way she came from. The voice was distant yet persistent. Surely, she could ignore such a thing. Then came her father’s voice. Orders for her to come back. The girl sulk at her misfortune, she’s just found a playground to play in, who knows when she’ll be able to come back. 

Quietly she unties the ribbon on her tail, the ends dirtied from playing. With the tree closest to her, she ties the ribbon to its lowest branch. Her work ended up simply wrapping the branch in the bright red ribbon. Michiko moves to leave, turning around to whisper to the wind. As if the place itself would understand her words. “I’ll be back for you, I promise.”


	3. Not Hers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She looks up at Halone in all her wonder, the stain glass windows behind her only made the sight all the more captivating. Though her kind isn't allowed to loiter around.   
> Rating: G

Michiko stood at the foot of the giant statue before her and stared. Halone. The statue itself was simple. The goddess stands proudly in all her glory, shield in one hand and a long spear in the other. The surrounding blue stain glass windows made her cold. Yet it steeled the stone gaze. The gaze that continues to look forward as if she’s prepared to grab the future with sheer will.

_She understood why the Goddess is so fiercely worshiped._

In a time of war, an icon of war will arise, along with it, countless stories of worship. Likely what kept the people strong as they lost loved ones again and again. To the ice and to dragons. Yet this war goddess brought peace to her people. A belief that what they do is good. What drove their boys into battle for a place within Halone’s Halls. In the name of their country. A sanctuary for the old, praying away for the goddess not to take their child just yet. For the young ones, to learn their place in the chaotic world they were born in. Death comes from all side. 

_What happens after this lifetime war is over?_

Michiko didn’t dare step closer unless she gives the priest here another reason to usher her out. Even though it has been moons since they opened their doors, Ishgardians have yet to open their hearts. Likely their faith wavered. Well, at least the ones that were fully devoted to Halone. Surely there was a good number of people who never believed. 

She feels eyes on her, the father and his child sitting in the back. The old woman beside her is likely eyeing her from the corner of her eye. Their judging stare at her tail and her back. Watching and waiting for the moment she does something remotely excusable. She’s overstayed her welcome. She’s stared at the image of their goddess for too long. _ **An intruder in these halls.**_  A pair of ears and a tail too strange for the people in this city. Her fashion was odd with not even a rank in her name.

Michiko kneels before the statue, bowing her head in respect and offer a small prayer. Quietly with lightly padded step, she leaves. This isn’t her sanctuary. This is theirs. 


	4. Saving Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late into the night, Michiko finally finds the time to deal with the mountain of letters from back home. The only thing pulling her to sleep is the person next to her.  
> Rating: G

The cold was settling deep into her bones. All her attempts seem to have rendered useless. Blanket pulled as high as possible and throwing on a thicker coat doesn’t stop the chill from nipping at the ends. Even sitting on the side of the bed closer to the fireplace isn’t helping.

Michiko rubs her feet together, crossing her legs to bring her cold toes closer. Winters are lovely, but the cold is something she could go without. She lacks the body heat that her husband radiates like a walking fireplace. The miqo’te glance at him from the corner of her eyes in envy. A moment passes before she was pulled from pouting the rest of the night.

With one hand stroking her tail that is wrapped around her waist, she uses the other holds the letter. The word lit by the dim light of the fireplace. The beginnings of the contents already it causes her to let out another sigh. A letter from home, her brother once again asking for help with one of her connections in a different city. This is the fifth time within the last month he’s written to her. Always giving one excuse or another before asking her to negotiate a deal for him. Picking up fresh paper and quill, she’ll need to send back a strongly worded letter to the idiot that is her brother. 

It’s hard to tell how much time has passed. What matters now is that she’s done. Michiko gathered up all the letters scattered on her lap. Letters from back in Eorzea that required urgent care along with all the letters she’s written. She drops it off on the bed stand on her side, too tired to care about the order. 

Finally laid down, she wraps the blanket tightly around her. Staring at his empty hand, simply laying there between them. Michiko grasps his warm hand in both of hers. Slowly bringing it close to her lips to press a delicate kiss his knuckles, before lacing their fingers together. 

Tomorrow, she’ll have a bit more time with him. Even if she’ll lose a few bells of sleep for now.   


	5. Show your cards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The things she's learned had built her up to this moment. Watching her partners crack under her gaze.  
> Rating: T

A lesson was taught to her when she was young, she could barely grasp the meaning behind his words. So, she did what she was told, mindlessly going through the motions without much thought. Like doing a series of chores.   
She chats up adoring wives, swaying their feelings with her innocent looks and seemingly innocent questions. She befriends daughters of business partners, incurring them about the things their family do. Every answer brought back was well rewarded.

It’s easy to connect with people. Say just enough, but not too much.

> _Never say more than what they need to know._

Being older, she sees the battles around her. A battle her father prepared her for. The dark glimmer in the eyes of certain merchants, the worst ones are the ones with honey tongues. Sitting across from her is one of them.   
“Miss Dhol, I’m sure we can come to a… Fine agreement between both of us.” Michiko could barely suppress a shudder as Torrad rack his eyes down her body. His breath getting heavier as he greedily eyes the slip of skin between the end of her dress and her boots. The Hyur is clearly sweating, rubbing his hand over his thigh. A deep regret settles in her gut to agree to meet with him privately about a future business matter. Disgusting. She can’t do anything but cross her legs. “I’m sure, there are things that we can provide will be beneficial to both parties.”

> _Never show your hand until you know you’ll win._

Would be it cruel of her to stay silent? To pick apart his words and throw everything back in his face? No, she knows what he’s planning. This meeting isn’t just some fancy excuse to try to entice her into his bed. Her attention shifts back to his face, sweat how coming down his wide forehead. Torrad attempts to direct her attention else were. Rattling off more benefits of working together as he runs his hand through his sandy blonde hair. He puts up a mask, look at her with ‘kind’ eyes. Attempting to sway her with his looks and charms. 

She quickly grew tired of the senseless chatter. Michiko gracefully got up to her feet, stepping up to him. As the look of hope crosses his eyes, hers turns ice cold. She hooks her boot at the bottom of his chair, tipping it back on the hide legs before allowing gravity to take over. Relishing in the fear in his eyes, as she slams a heeled boot onto his chest. 

“I know that your business has been suffering, Basher.” She spat out his last name as if it was the vilest thing to touch her tongue. Locking eyes with him, her voice dipping low. “If you think that using such the connection your father had with mine, you are sorely mistaken. I know your intentions. I know every mistake you make and every fear you have.” She leans over, pressing more of her weight onto him, feeling his chest hitch from the pain of the heel digging in. 

_“Reconsider your choice. I know more than I let on.”_

> _When you win, demolish them with everything you have._


	6. Scarpia Ultimatim (BTH)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being kidnapped by a stranger was the last thing she needed, much less someone obsessed with her husband.  
> Rating: M

 It was the smell that woke her up, musty enough to clog up her nose. A light tingle on her nose drew out at sneeze. Then another and another. She reaches out her hand up to rub her nose. Well, she tried to. As the dust she disrupts start to settle, Michiko finally start get a better look of her surroundings. This isn’t home.

The entire room is dark, not at window insight, but she could barely make out faint outlines of the room. Boxes? She’s tied up and left to rot within the confines of someone’s storage room. Perfect. As her tail lazily sway around her, she tests the restraints to feel the rope dig deeper into her wrists. The strange settlement of her legs meant so were her legs. A deeper sigh couldn’t have left her that moment. Michiko shift around to reach for the dagger in her boots, feeling down the length of her leg to see where it’s gone.

> _Click. Creeeeeak._  

The giant wooden doors swing open, momentarily blinding her as light tumble into the room. “Looking for this?” She squints as the silhouette gets close enough to crouch over her. Their face slowly becoming recognizable as her eyes start to adjust to the light. This face… is a stranger. Her brain faintly remembers the features, from a previous dungeon? Before she could make a sound. The Au Ra grabs her black hair, yanking it to expose her neck to press the cold blade of her own dagger against it. “You’re the reason why he doesn’t come to me anymore. You’re keeping him away from me!” The tiny female lets out a crackle. The sound that came out sounded more like claws racking a pane of glass than a humane sound. 

Not a moment later, her captor quickly drops Michiko back onto the floor. “But now you’re here! He’ll come to me for sure.” Letting out a dreamy, almost erotic sigh as she runs her hands down her body. Wearing a set of familiar looking undergarments. A familiar set of HER missing undergarments. Vile in her stomach move up her throat, settling painfully at the back of her mouth. “Then he’ll see me and fall in love with me at first sight. Then we’ll fu-”

Another figure stepped into the light. With them is a familiar axe bigger than the either of the women in the room. The Elezen stares down at the tiny Au Ra, his once kind eyes now a blazing red. Such a look was only meant for the enemies they fell. For Yuushin to even look her way with it sends shivers down her spine.

> “Marry me.” 

The request was simple. “ **Marry me. Marry Me. Marry ME!** ” Her voice cracking as she continues chant the words like a mantra. Getting louder and more frantic as Yuushin steps towards her. The red still in his eyes.

Splat. 

> _“It’ll be annoying to wash off all this blood.”_


	7. Lucky Streak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questioned about her lucky, Michiko thinks back on her run with luck.  
> Rating: G

 

> “Am I lucky?”

   
_“Yuu! Look, look!” Michiko bounce over to her husband with her used scratch tickets in hand. Red lines are freshly drawn on the ticket. She passed him the tickets with a cheeky grin, knowing his opinions of lucky draws. She had just won the 30,000._

_“Look at this!” She slips away from the appraiser, glowing look in her eyes. Yuushin still dusting himself off from their last run of the tower, over his shoulder at her. In her arms now is a pile of minions. Wind-up versions of familiar primals, pets, and faces alike. Including new additions recently released. She misses the pout that crossed his face as she coos over the Wind-up Shiva, a minion missing from his own giant collection._

 

_“Yuu, look!” With pieces of the timeworn map in her hand, in front of them a black portal. It’s blue edges, flicker, and flake off_ _the entrance like whispers of flames. Michiko couldn’t help but flash the tall Elezen beside her a wide smile, a mischievous gleam in her eye. She knows that he isn’t fond of these kinds of excursions, but that isn’t going to stop her from pulling him along._

 

_As the sun sinks back down over the horizon, the stars invite each other out to play and shine. Michiko curls up on her husband’s lap, sipping some hot chocolate the servants had made. She tucks her head under his chin, rubbing her ears against his chest to get comfortable. A pair of warm arms wrap firm around her to keep still. With her cup set aside, she slips into peaceful rest, purring to match the snores of her pillow._

 

 

> “I’m pretty lucky actually.” 


	8. The Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She dragged him to the top of the mountain for those flowers, only to be dragging the both of them to their potential doom.   
> Rating: G

Michiko tugs on his hand, pulling him higher and higher up the mountain. Yuushin had warned her that she’s getting too close to the nearby volcano. Still, she insists that the volcanic flowers are worth it. She has refrained from going before. The location too high for and the flowers would always come back too crushed to be presented. Now she can gather them herself! She should have heeded his warning.

The ground pulsed a bright white the second they touched down on the platform. Titan isn’t fond of intruders. She reacted a second too late. The wave of rocks rushes forward, the sheer force it brought was enough to throw her right over the edge. Michiko watch as the ground rises from her vision, hand reaching out to grip the edge. Missed.

A large hand caught hers just in time. Her eyes staring down at the lava miles below, red bubbling wildly and the warmth of it still felt despite the terrifying heights. She tore her gaze away to look at him. Eyes and mouth wide open, she lets out a weak squeak of fear. The ground beneath him starts to glow its bright white again. Rumbling in the distance as the wave of rocks starts to gather once more. Michiko swallows everything in her mouth, the words along with it. If he lets her go, he’ll survive. If. Or neither of them will.

Before she could utter her intention, Yuushin tightens his grip. Using his strength, he pulls her back on the platform and throws her into the air. Sending her flying a safe distance. She brushed passed him just enough to catch a glimpse of his face. A smile. A smile yet a deep sadness that instantly tore a giant gaping hole in the middle of her heart. 

_No. No no no no no. Please no. Not him._

Her biggest fear coming true right before her eyes.

Michiko’s hand glows a golden yellow as she reaches out for him, feet barely touching the ground. She summons all her will to reach him before the force did. Before she could finish her spell, a mass of rocks descends upon her. The shell of rocks encasing her entire body, blocking her vision as she catches a glimpse of his body sliding right off the edge.

Perhaps it was for the best. The rock begins to grow around her, halting her breath and crushing her limbs. She lets out a last of her breath, pressing her head against the rock in front of her. The weight of guilt settles on her shoulders more heavily than the stones crushing her body.

_It wasn’t so bad. She will be joining him once this is finished. They both even more free to travel wherever they like. Perhaps they could finally head into the places she always dreamed of visiting. The Steppes might be a good start, perhaps the deeper cities in the Far East is better._

Her ears twitch at the sudden sound of crunch. Was that? The sound came again, more frequent and frantic. The stones start to break apart, light leaking in through the gaps. A warmth wraps itself around her arm, pulling her free into a warm chest. His warm chest. A spike of red prick her heart, instantly taking over her body. She slams a clenched fist to his chest, her mouth stammer between the gross tears running down her cheek. 

_“Never leave me alone again.”_


	9. Dense as a rock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There have been some horrible flirting, this one takes the cake. Luckily, Xenox is there to save the day.   
> Rating: G

She thought she’d seen the worst of the customers, or at least the strangest of them. There’s a good reason why she wears her ring while at work. If the sizable gem on her finger isn’t enough to tell them to back off. Then the indent that it leaves on someone’s face should be a clear message. 

“I wouldn’t recommend that.” Her tone drops, rolling her eyes at every attempt this new ‘fan’ is giving her. It was supposed to be a quick run to the flower shop with her husband, perhaps stay a bit to try out some of her flower tea. Now she needs to deflect sexual advances from someone clearly from out of town. Long lavender hair and golden eyes stick out quite a bit in these parts…  _Seven Hells, she’s sounding more like her late father._

“Oh really, kitten? And why is that?” The Hyur purrs out while draping himself across the counter in an ‘innocent’ attempt to get closer to her. She’s almost offended by the fact that he even thinks of breathing the same air as her. Michiko pulls on her steel mask as he leans closer. “I believe that both of us should get to know each other. A flower and a painter should know each other very well, no?” If this is his best attempt at a sweet talk, she pities the women who **did**  end up in his bed. 

She leans back on her chair, crossing her arms as a notion of response. Gaku,  _at least she thinks it’s his name_ , reaches out to grasp her arm.

##  _**Crack. _ **Splat.**_** _

A giant ax comes down on the counter between them, nearly splitting the wood in half as the blade sinks itself deep into the craft. Her craft. That she made with her own hands. The would-be suitor was gone by the time she looked up, a feminine scream being heard outside the premises. She’ll deal with the rumors later, instead heft out a sigh and looks at her savior. “Thanks for the help, but did you have to break the table?”


	10. What of My Brother?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At a party, far from home, she comes across a piece of her past.   
> Rating: G

This is the last place she would have thought to come across a piece of her past. Not at party days and nights away from home. Thoughts swirled in her mind as he makes his way around the crowd to the buffet table. He easily flipping past all the adventurers gathered in the center of the room. There just a few feet away stands the bane of her past life. 

Michiko quietly makes sure the juice in her hand didn’t smell of alcohol before taking a sip. As much as she needs it, it would be unsavory to embarrass herself and her newly found mentor. Especially in front of all his fans and friends. So, she settled with standing by all the food and eating to her heart’s content.

She felt out of her zone. It’s no longer a merchant’s gala where she needs to chat someone up, it’s a gathering of friends that talks about a lifestyle she has no inkling of. It felt strange not having something to do other than enjoy herself. Is this what parties are actually like? How much good food has she been missing out on? Her tail sways back and forth like a serpent behind her, she almost wished that she was back at those parties.

> _It turns out Nymeia wants her to eat those words._

“You left town quite quickly, I didn’t even get a word that you were gone until a month after.” The Plainsfolk Lalafell straights up his attire, brushing off imaginary dust as he holds the wine on his left hand. His mere presence in her new lifestyle is almost unnerving, even more, when a side of his lip curls up. “But it’s good to see you again, Miss Dhol, I imagine that this new life of yours has been quite the gamble.” 

“Yes, my mother believed that I should make a name for myself,” She sets down the cupcake on the table, all her appetite had seemingly vanished. She glances over to man, eyes cast down with a simple frown on her face. Her hand tights its grip on the plate, trying to refrain from moving violently. Breath. Think. Now is not the time to panic. 

“Really? That’s an interesting prospect, I thought you were making quite the name for yourself back in Ul’dah” As a slave, as a tool. Something molded to boost her family. A spark of envy fills her, remembering all the times she spent studying and working. All the while her ‘friends’ played family and dress up. Her tail stopped swaying, the smirk he has on only widens as her ears press down into her head. “It’s no longer the same without you around, Luluwi misses you and your stories dearly.”

“If this is to sway me to return back, I’m afraid you’ll have to take this to my family, Mister Tolis.” The mask slip on so easily, it felt almost right to have it on. Not even the mention of his daughter, a child she adored. The vile in her stomach bubbles at the thought of him using his own daughter as bait. “However, I believe that my brother is running the business just fine. You shouldn’t d-”

“Your brother is quite the coward.” Looks like he’s finally fed up with beating around the bush, finishing up his glass of wine in one gulp and set it on the table beside her half-eaten cupcake. The smile is replaced by a scowl. “His skills with communication and contracts leave much to be desired.”  
“I’ll pass the message along. Wardric will improve such a thing, have patience.” Connections and contracts. Those were her old job. Michiko glances out to the group in the middle to see the only familiar face arm wrestling a Hyur monk. She isn’t a fool. She knows the details of the incident that caused such a rift. It was neither her nor Wardric’s fault. 

Not too long ago, she’s gotten interesting news from her mother. Tolis had started to increase the prices of the supplies they were buying. Despite her finely detailed contract detouring such a thing. Wardric had announced the end of the deal and switched over to his only connection for supplies. She inwardly shudders, at the memory of this particular contract. The Lalafell is known to use underhand tactics in the market. But he’s the only person with a steady stream of Carnelian that her family uses. It took her a fortnight to craft a deal. All those nights up in smokes with just a few words. Her brother has no disregard for the game that she set up. 

Her answer didn’t please him. He wasn’t used to that. The words and actions were well-rehearsed to play his game. Now, she’s no longer playing. Michiko has moved on. A red hue starts to take over his face, tiny fist clench at his side to prevent himself from throwing a fit. This isn’t right. She was supposed to say, ‘Yes, I’ll come back’, ‘I’ll return back to my place.’ It’s the first time she’s seen him turn as red as his own shirt. She takes a step away from him just to be sure. Even if she still has connections, Tolis has a million of his own. Trouble is simply waiting to spill at one wrong move. 

“Is there something wrong here?” Her mentor steps to both of them. Axe lazily resting on his shoulder in a show of prowess. Yuushin's eyes scanning her face for a hint of gloom. With the mask still on, she could only return a blank look. Light blue eyes lost most of their glow and a permanent frown on her lips. The grip on her skirt didn’t allow a word to slip. Tolis’s face was now entirely red with all eyes on him. 

> _The timer in her mind tick away. It’s just a matter of time now._


	11. Broken Angel (BTH)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An alternative take on what could have happened had Michiko was not adopted by her father.   
> Caution: Gore, Abuse of a child.   
> Rating: E

“No! Let me go! Let me go!” The tiny miqo’te pulls and tugs at her trapped arm, trying to pull it out of the man’s grip. The Roegadyn held on tightly to her shoulder, squeezing it enough to send waves of pain through her body. The bread they had used to lure her out laid on the ground crushed by the hurry to get her out of sight. 

She was thrown over the back of a Chocobo, bounded and gagged. There was nothing she could do but squirm in her place. Only watch as people and their stalls get smaller and smaller from her vision. Her vision starts to blur as tears gather in her eyes, she can’t quite tell if it’s from the dust or the fear that gripped her heart. The girl presses her cheek against the leader of the saddle. No amount of kicking, screaming, or crying could save her from their hold. No one came to save the forgotten child. 

By the time they stopped, night has fallen. Her stomach ached from all the movement. The men didn’t even allow her a moment to breathe. Instead, the Roegadyn simply picked her up and followed the rest of them into a dark cave. The only thing visible was the walls, lit by the torches they hold. Without prompt, she slipped off the large shoulder and fall face first onto the ground. Perhaps she was lucky that her head didn’t connect with a rock. A heavyweight quickly follows, keeping her throbbing front on the ground. 

The ropes were cut. Limbs falling to her sides, the numb and stiffness finally settling in her mind. Tired. Pain. Starving. All the feelings chip away at her energy, eyes threatening to fall shut. Then hands grasp her arms, pressing a crushing weight on her wrist. Her senses pick up the presence looming over her legs. 

Her tail whips wildly to slap her capture’s hand away, yet it didn’t deter them from grabbing her legs. The girl wrings her head around to deliver a bite on the hand holding her shoulder. One hand was gone, followed by a hiss of pain. Yet another one came to replace it. This time gripping the back of her hair, shoving her face back onto the cold ground. The throb across the right side of her face nearly distracted her from the dirt filling her mouth. She couldn’t move.

A hand grips her tail pulling it, pain spike at the base of her spine. The feeling claws its way up her spine, sinking its claws into her bones. Then came the tearing. A cold blade sinking into her fur. A warm liquid start to pools on her back, staining her dress, dripping onto the floor. Tears fill her eyes, her nails raking the ground to get away. Her screams echo throughout the cave, bouncing off the walls. Yet still, no one else said a word. An agony of continues to tear through her skin even long after the blade was gone. The feeling was replaced with molten fire searing her skin. Then relief. 

It’s like all the weight fell off at once. Even as she lay on the ground, the world spun around her. The warm pool had stopped. A pair of flickering flame catches her eye, growing smaller and smaller before she succumbs to the darkness. 

She woke up with a whimper, the stinging pains of her stomach pulling her out of the depth. Light filter in through the opening, nearly blinding her with its light. She was alone again. The miqo’te push herself back up to her feet with the help of the wall. Her legs struggle to keep her up. She took the first step, her body tilting toward too far and sending her back into the ground.

 It was the second time sitting up that she reached for her wound. Her small hand runs down her back. A large cut in her clothes that she doesn’t remember getting. Then her fingers touch a raw patch of skin that shot pain right through her body. 

_Her tail. It was no longer there._


	12. Praise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She always asks for one thing when they're done  
> Rating: G

Fresh out of a battle, the pair bids the other half of their team goodbye before making their way back to the city. “Did I do well?” She clutches her staff tightly, feeling shy about her healing abilities. Her eyes were drawn to the ground, more interested in the new scuff marks on her boots.

_Tell me I did well. Tell me I did good. Praise me. Praise meeeee. Please?_

Michiko fidgets anxiously at her clothes. Trying to brush off some of the dirt while antagonizing about the blood on the edges. So focused on it that she nearly missed the weight that settled on her head. She peeks over the rims of her glasses, feeling him stroke the top of her head. He looks down at her, a soft smile on his face. 

“You did well.” 

A warm feeling envelops her entire body, especially on her cheeks as she feels herself turn an unseen shade of red. A light squeeze on her heart tells her, that she wouldn’t mind staying like that for a while longer. 


	13. The Results of Her Effort (BTH)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captured and tortured, Michiko attempts to distract herself with her hands.   
> Rating: E

Her hands had seen a lot. The scars wrap loosely around her fingers, some smaller or larger than others. Yet she remembers how she got everyone. It was the one thing she was good at the beginning. Working with her hands.

Long faded burns and scars at the palm of her hands, too faded for anyone to see. With her hands laid flat out and the light above her head, she can see the slightest change. Michiko could still feel the burns.  Fire coursing through her veins as her creation explodes her in hands, sending pieces of metal deep into her palms. Like now, she can’t do anything but watch as the blood pours out from the palm of her hand. Her vision starts to blur as tears fill her eyes.

Tiny, thin marks line the pads of her fingers, finally all the paperwork that she handled at a young life. Barely 15 summers, she was stranded. The death of her father left a hole in her heart. Every word reminded her of him, of the things they did together. Ideas and plans they came up for meetings and parties. Her fingers are numb, as numb as the rest of her body. Michiko simply allows him to curl in on themselves.

They’re results of all her hard work, all her ambitions, attempts, failures. All her life experiences wrapped up in one. They’re something she loved. Something the people around her perhaps loved too. When she makes gifts and food when she can see the curiosity and joy in their eyes as she presses yet another trinket into their hands. Useless things. Still, it meant the world for them to accept it.

* * *

“Tell us his secrets.” A raspy voice hiss into her ear. She barely resisted the urge to move away, unless she’s desperate for the conditions of her hand to get worst. The cold metal sends ripples running up and down her body. It feels like the blade is brushing right against her bones. “Where does he hiding the gold?”

“Who?” Her answer only sent her head colliding with the wooden table. Her forehead stinging from the impact. Her mind starts to spin. Was it from the steady red pool on the table or simply her head plays tricks? Michiko lets out a deep breath, trying to process her surroundings. Is the man after Wardric? Yuushin? Someone else she knew? “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

“Cut your talk!” A hand grips the knife, twisting it a quarter turn. Michiko lets out a weak whimper, fresh tears running down her face. The red flow out faster from the open wound. The room spun, even more, she almost felt airy. As if her weight was being drained away with her blood. The light over her was too bright yet too dark. Barely able to make out the figure behind the cruel act. “I just want his fears, his weaknesses. Something as simple as that. Or you would rather play the card game?”

Michiko didn’t have a chance to utter a word before the knife was pulled out of her hand. The blood freely flowing now, even as she clutches it to her chest. Her entire body shook in fear. She couldn’t bring herself to heal. If she heals, he might make it worst. She doesn’t have a clue of how she got into this position. Much less of how to get out of it.

“If you need to demand a weakness, then you’re not worthy of the answer.” She lets out her last breath, as the cold metal brush through her hair and touches her neck.


	14. Dust of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiko takes a moment to reflect inside the room she spent most of her childhood.  
> Rating: G

Michiko stared at the old musty room, every breath she takes was another mouthful of dust. She lets out a sneeze into her fist, the force of it sends her entire body reeling. The layer of dust blown back into the air. Being in the room feels like she’s choking back more than just dust. Bare walls brought no comfort. Not even if they reflect the glow of warmth.

She didn’t make a sound as she approaches the desk. It was too small for the room it belongs in. Everything was too small for the room. A thick layer of dust covers it too. Dusty hand prints cover the top of the table, disrupting some of the older layers. Some even fresher than others. All of them was her brother’s, clumsily searching her table for the right documents.

She could see and feel her smaller self, hunched over the table. Unsteady inky hands writing up one contract after another. Trading deals, regulations, rules, and whatever else they made her do. At 15 summers old, she started working already. Perhaps even younger if she had to count all the times, she followed her father. Her eyes and fingers trace the forgotten quill. Perhaps she was too prideful and confident. Ready to take charge after her father and be the mature person everyone believes her to be. It was the few things that kept her working for so long.

Another was the feeling of being needed. Touches to her shoulder, words of appreciation. All from the people that she had always seen from far away. She never really knew her grandparents on her father side until the Calamity. Her younger self didn’t realize how much she needed them. The death of her father left a gaping hole she didn’t know how to fill. A presence of comfort. To her, the price was just a bunch of thoughtful letters and meetings to attend.

Memories came swirling back, bits and pieces of the things she sacrificed. Michiko has overestimated herself. Taking more jobs then she should have, even offering to take up things her brother was meant to do. How many nights did she sleep in this room? How many times did she wake up on the desk with ink stains all over her arm? How many times did the bare walls hear her cry, believing she can’t be loved?

Every moment spent in this room was all in a desperate attempt to be loved. She was a damn fool. Michiko should have scolded her younger self for trusting their words so easily. Sweet sugary lies don’t come from just the hands you shake, they come from the kisses pressed against your cheek too.

* * *

His hand brush against the back of her hand. Gently drawing her attention back to him, even offering his hand for her to take. With the door wide open, the air felt cleaner. Her heart felt lifted at just his presence. She takes his hand in hers, tugging him back out of the room.

It’s different now. Her life is different now. No more paperwork than she needs to, no more memorizing people’s name and relations. Yet her habits still stay the same, how does one give to a family that doesn’t need much? Michiko feels her hand start to itch, perhaps she can offer help. Or give them something to show she cares. Flowers? Maybe a small trinket, like a bell or a lucky charm.

A squeeze tugs her attention away again. The midday light passes through the window, raining warmth down the empty halls. More warmth than the people residing there could ever provide. The look in his eye tells her that he knows. The things she’s thinks and all her little twitches. He gives her hand another squeeze, thumb smoothing over the back of her hand. Perhaps it’s enough. Perhaps being around as she is, is enough.


	15. Into the Plains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her first time in the Azim Steppe, involved talking food and crafting. Lots and lots of crafting.   
> Rating: G

The land before her was beautiful. Mountains surround the plains as if the earth was rising out of the ground to protect this place. Most of the terrain was flat and green, being laid out right in front of her. Monsters and local livestock roaming around without a care. There’s a settlement nearby, a familiar blue crystal floating right in the center. 

The feast to her eyes and mind was thrown at the window, her stomach let out a small whale call out for food. Demanding to be filled, but for only one type of food. Fish. Specifically, sushi. At the same time, Michiko has yet to comprehend how she ended up there. 

She remembers came across a tasty looking fish while she was taking a quick walk around Kugane. It’s difficult enough feeding 3 full grown adventurers. Add all the friends that like to come by and raid the kitchen means food is always running low. Right in the middle of a grocery run for the house, when she saw a peculiar figure on the red bridge. A very fat catfish that looked almost ripe to be thrown into a meal. Images swirled in her head of how delicious the meat must be. The fatty meat would better fried with some potato and greens on the side. Or would it be better simply steamed with a bit of seasoning? Michiko didn’t realize that she was approaching it until something spoke up. 

The food… is talking. The food is talking to her with a request for her, a crafter, to come with him to set up something? Maybe that’s why she’s standing on the mountain staring at a poor assembly of red stalls. Her mind still considering what would be the best cut. The stomach? Their stubby little feet and tail? Her tail sways as fast as river currents around rocks, and ears perked up. She was leaning dangerously forward to stare intensely at their ‘guide.’

Yuushin clears his throat, shifting his weight to his other foot. Her entire body instantly perks up, wiping the small amount of drool coming from the corner of her mouth. Michiko does her best to flash him an innocent smile, before turning back to the 3 Namazu. She could smell the cooking smoke wafting her nose. The drool was back. She licks her lips. 

One of them finally caught her gaze, their giant eyes widening even bigger before making a run for it. “D-don’t eat me!!” He cries, frantically waving their fins to get away. Another angry fish steps up to his place.

“You wouldn’t dare eat us!” He strikes a fight pose, or what looks like a fighting pose. It looked more like he’s offering his fin out to her to chomp on. Her stomach lets out a growl in response. “I’ll have you thrown from this cliff!”

“Unless you want to be a sushi roll, you better mind your tongue.” Her husband steps up, resting his ax into view. Almost daring the Namazu to deny them. They were here to offer help, yet here they are getting potential death threats from something that barely reach their knees.

“Only if she minds hers.” Michiko wasn’t aware of their conversation, too busy licking her lips. It’s going to be difficult days coming ahead if the miqo’te can’t keep her hands and knife to herself. 


	16. Mismatched Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She hates winter days, but it's not too bad with the people she loves.   
> Rating: G

Winter months were always best spent in the house. A cup of hot tea and a plate of fresh cookies with reach while Michi is wrapped up and warm close to the fireplace. Yuushin had gotten up to fiddle with the orchestrion, hoping to find a tune to match the coming festive atmosphere. He’s grown tired of Pa-paya that Yasuna likes to put on to annoy him. 

Speaking of Yasuna. Michiko glance at the kitchen from her spot. Watching as a pale, scaly tail peeks through the sliding doors. Slowly waving back and forth as she waits to get her food from the servants. People think it is strange that she’s so willing to accept her husband’s adopted daughter. She isn’t what they would expect when they consider the words ‘stepmother.’ Michiko dismisses the notion with a flick of her tail, they clearly have been reading too many fairy tales.

This family. An Elezen father, A Miqo’te mother, and an Au Ra daughter. From the outside looks like a patchwork mess. She never thought about having a child or a husband in that matter. Her past life didn’t offer time for a social life. This new one felt like walking through a thick fog the entire time, she never quite knew what she should be doing. Yuushin came crashing into her life. Yasuna, just like her dad, did the same thing.

The first time she was introduced to Yasuna. The girl came to their free company home to look for her father. The childish glee took over her eyes when he introduced Michiko as her new mother. The small Raen rush forward to pull her into a hug. Already whispering the cutest things into her shirt and already calling her ‘mom.’ It felt like a dream came true. A dream she didn’t realize she had.   
She should have taken that moment as a hint for what was to come. A proposal at dinner. All the days that came and lead up to the large ceremony. They didn’t matter yet. She was too distracted by the new daughter that just popped into her life.

An Elezen father, A Mi’qote mother, and an Au Ra daughter. A strange mismatch patchwork of a group. This is her family. Her family to love, cherish, and protect. A family that isn’t bound by just blood.


	17. When They’re Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her family disappeared without a trace or word cause her to go down a dark road in her thoughts.   
> Rating: M for suicidal thoughts

Michiko doesn’t remember falling asleep on the couch. The plush cushions were comfortable enough to lull her into a peaceful sleep. A long cat nap. She touches the cup left on the coffee table, the left-over tea had gone ice cold. At least all the cookies have been eaten up. Slowly getting up, she feels the slow burn of her muscle as she starts to stretch out her limbs. All her muscles cramping up from sleeping so tightly.

The house was quiet. Too quiet. She took a quick glance at the front door. Yuushin and Yasuna’s adventuring pack are both gone. Michiko lets out something between a sigh and a huff then followed by a confused sound. She looks around her sleeping place for a note, then upstairs if they left a letter there. She searched the entire house, even checking in on the coffin her stepdaughter has down in her room. No note, no letter, not even a piece of scrap paper with where they have gone off to. She questioned the servants, trying to piece together how long she’s been asleep and they have been gone. They didn’t offer anything of use either.

The second day of the quiet house, she traveled to the Free Company house. If they’re not home, surely, he would be here to check on everyone’s progress? Still, there’s no reason for Yasuna to tag along. It’s not a detail she could fuss about. The mansion was empty too. Not devoid of life but of the normal sound of chatter. She would have almost thought that everyone here had disappeared too. If there wasn’t distant giggling and cheering coming from downstairs. When she asked the hyur monk sitting by the stairs, he had only jokingly answered her question.

        “We haven’t seen him since he met you.”

She bid him goodbye and hurried to make it home that night. His words gave a spark of joy in her heart, yet it was dashed out by her worries. They forgot to leave her a note, they should be home by now. The house was still empty.

Three nights go by. She finds herself constantly checking the mailbox, hoping for a word even a peep from them. From anyone. Michiko would hurry out the door, not even caring to slip on her sandals. She yanks open the damned Moogle mailbox and reach inside to feel around for the letter. It’s always empty. Yet at the toll of every bell, she could hear the ghost of the sound ringing in her ear. The sound would echo in her ear until she finally seated herself at the gate. The neighbors are sure to think she’s crazy now. The relief to her ears was worth it. The ringing has stopped, but the dark worries fester in the back of her mind.

She had enough waiting at ten days, she woke up seeing red. Her body screams at her to do something. Everything about the house started to stand out. Every creak of the wood under her feet would send a wave of white-hot anger through her body. Every picture she has demands to be ripped up and tossed into the fire. Every handcrafted gift from him only sends a spike through her heart. She tosses every glass dish on the ground, uncaring for how the servants flinch and wince. The sound of glass crushing, breaking into smaller pieces did little to quell her anger.

How dare they leave her. How dare they abandon her to this once loving home and turn it cold with their presence. In the afternoon, Michiko started tearing the clothes from their closet. Shoving every piece into her luggage case. She didn’t care for the mess she’s creating. If they aren’t going to tell her where they have disappeared off to, then she should do the same. She should have heeded those warnings, that she was simply another notch in his belt. She grasped the Far Eastern dress in her hands. The silk material nearly spilling through her hands. It was the first gift he ever gave her. Yuushin mentioned that her name reminded him of the people who lived here. It would only be fitting to gift her something to match her name. The anger inside her turns into sorrow. Clutching the dress, she falls onto her knees and pressing it against her face. It took the last of her strength to stop herself from wailing.

Half a moon goes by since she’s woken up to the empty house. Michiko sits in the bathtub, making sure to turn the water as hot as she could. Allowing the steam to fill the room, wrapping itself around her like a thick mist. It was hard to breathe. Yet it felt right. Her eyes land on the knife lying at the edge of the tub, the blade shimmered in the light. The hot water burns her skin, slowly turning her flushed red.

Her gaze tears away from the tempting silver, scanning the stained-glass windows. Each handcrafted and placed by her beloved. They were still beautiful. Her cold fingers start to trace the pattern reflected on her skin. Tracing her arm, shoulder, across her neck. They wrap loosely around her neck, feeling the slow pulse just beneath the skin. The cold felt like a good contrast against her flushed skin. Michiko sinks deeper into the water. It felt hopeless.

Not too long ago she finally settled into her new life, the happiest and best she has ever been. There was nothing that she could ask for more. Now everything was ripped from under her feet, leaving her with only the remnants to remember them by. This will be her last bath, then she’ll end everything. She’ll end it here in this house where all her happy memories lay.

“Mooom!” Her ears twitch. She’s gone insane. Perfect. “Mom! Mommyyyyy,” but what does she have to lose to deny that sound. She pulls herself out of the bathtub, quickly drying herself with a towel. Yasuna’s voice continues to call for her, so close yet so far. Michiko tugged on the first thing she grabbed. Stepping over all the clothes covering the floor to see if she could find the source of the voice. “Mommy! Come look at what we found!” The front door. She was out the door before the servants could comment on her appearance.

In the yard stands the two missing people in her life. Yuushin and Yasuna. She threw herself at Yasuna without a hesitation. Nearly hitting their head together as she pulls her daughter into a tight hug. Giggles fill her ears as the embrace was returned, she takes a step back. Did she step on something? There were flowers and seeds scattered around them, all of them she’s only ever read about. Rare flowers. Holywood, Angel of the Night, Victorian Lady, even Dark Princess Hibiscus. Flora that she thought was simply a thing of stories. And those seeds…

Her eyes glance at Yas, then over to Yuu, to the cart he’s pulling, then back to Yas. The confusion starts to settle in her mind, all the new information that she can’t process. Happiness bloomed in her heart as tears well up in her eyes again. They didn’t leave her after all. They’re home. They’re home and that’s all it matters.

“Ugh,” Yuushin drops the handle on the large cart, “Good to see that you’re soaking wet at the sight of me bring home.” He rests his back against it, tipping it over a bit for her to see into. Michiko steps up to him, the wind throwing through sends waterdrops onto her clothes. She was staring at a table of a familiar shade of red. “I got you a new table, that way you can stop fussing about me breaking it. As for this garden stuff… I’m sure you’ve figured out.”

The thoughtfulness of their gifts baffled her. She presses her face against his chest, allowing the tears to fall freely. Her fist comes up to weakly hit him on the chest, before wrapping her arms around him. The warm hand pressed against her back only urged her to cry harder. One tear after another slip down her face, she didn’t even remember how long they stood there. All it mattered was that they were back, and she’s back in the arms of the love of her life. Yuushin stood there patiently until she could not cry anymore. Soothing away the hiccups until her breathing slowed. He didn’t let her go until she whispered, she was okay.

She was content with staying in his arms for the rest of the day. Latching herself to him like a lifeline, fearing that he would disappear again.

“Now that we’re done here, let’s get inside, take a nice hot shower and get some food.” Michiko goes rigid in his arms. Memories of the broken glass and clothes scattered all over the floor flash before her eyes. Oh.


	18. Markings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiko is self-conscious of her tribal markings. Why have them when she doesn't have a tribe?  
> Rating: T

The reflection stares back at her with curious eyes. The longer she stared, the more frustrated she becomes. The young girl brought up her hands to rub her cheeks, nothing. She tried rubbing even harder, but it only turned the pale skin a light pink. The markings are imprinted forever.

The dark markings were a huge contrast against her skin. They curl from her cheek and ending just under her eyes. The ones on her forehead didn’t make matters any better. Like arrows point everyone to look into her eyes when there’s nothing more than she wants them to be left alone.

Michiko did what she could to cover them up. She grew out her bangs to cover up the marks on her forehead. Then grew out the rest of her hair to try to pull attention away from them. For a good while, she asked her mother to cover them up with her cosmetics. She had to stop when her friends commented that it makes her look strange. They say it makes her look clanless.

 _Clanless_. The word dug deeper than she would have thought like someone twisted a knife in her heart. That was her fear, wasn’t it? She’s alone in this world. Left by a family who birthed her, and it will only a matter of time before this family does too.

An itch appeared under her skin. Something that needed the skin to be broken and her nail digging even deeper to find it. The reflection she sees isn’t her. It doesn’t feel like her. The young girl only sat up a little straighter, biting back to tears in her eyes. Why couldn’t she be born as anything else?


	19. Ice Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's amusing to watch men beg.  
> Rating: T

Was she cold-hearted? No. She’s given people plenty of chances over her lifetime. From strangers to family. Even those who have proven again and again that they have all intentions of betraying her. Which is why she’s giving this one another chance.

“Miss Dhol, as you can see, I desperately need this deal. The life of my wife and kids depends on this!” He sat across from her, hands pressed together if he was planning to start pleading to her.

“I see, and you plan to take my bleeding heart for granted.” Michiko casually picks at her clothes, tugging off. It seems what she found really was true, this man is asking for more than just some cash. “Where is your family now?”

“The West Inn, we’re currently locating there until we could find a better place.”   
“Really? Because a lot of my people see you often frequent the North side of the city, specifically the whore house that you love so much.” The hour lets out an audible gulp, “Are you planning to tell me that you were begging the dancers for money?”

“How could you-“ His words die out when the gleam of her sword catches his eye. Ice fills his veins as he scrambles to the ground onto his knees. “Please! I didn’t mean to, the last few moons have been so stressful on my wife and me, and she’s too busy with the kids and making sure that they’re okay.” His mouth continues to ramble as he trips over his own lies. 

“I do not care for your reason. Clearly, you have no plans of stopping your actions.” 

“You wouldn’t do this. Leowald wouldn’t do such a thing!” The man pleas, pressing himself as close to the ground. He wants to get away from her, from this devil he planned to trick. How she snuck the sword inside is beyond him, what matters now is that he survives this day. 

“You’re right, my father wouldn’t do this.” She glides the blade under his chin, resting an end where she knows would kill him instantly. Michiko smiles down at him as she raises the blade high over her head. Only cold malice and glee in her eyes, “that’s a good thing that I’m not my father. Now I only want one thing from you.”

> “Beg.” 


	20. Mockingbird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She saw something in the markets that day.   
> Rating: G

The first thing that caught her attention was their song. The birds were chipping a familiar tune, every beep matching every note of the melody in her head. It was of the recent bard tale being passed around, the catchy tune had gotten stuck in everyone’s mind that only spread like a disease. 

The girl breaks away from her mother to follow the trail of music until she found herself staring at a golden cage. Inside sits two golden birds sitting on their branch. Their wings and head move and rustle just like any other, yet staying firmly wedge to the branch. The birds slowed their music until they didn’t move or sing anymore, allowing her to look at the entire music box. A sole blue gem pressed to the front while the bottom has been hammered with intricate patterns. A large hand reaches out to turn the crank at the base and the birds come to life once again. 


	21. A meal to be shared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast with the family.   
> Rating: G

Michiko doesn’t cook very often. Between traveling, healing and dealing with people, it feels easier to allow someone else to do all the cooking she needs. But there are special occasions where she finds herself in the kitchen. On lazy days, like today, there is nothing she enjoys more than the smell of home-cooked food and busy hands.

She flips the pan in her hand, watching the pancakes stack up to a reasonable size before setting it aside. On another plate, she fills it with eggs and bacon before tossing all the dishes into the sink. A muffled thump came from downstairs, likely the smell and sound of cooking had finally wake up her up. Upstairs the sound of running water is still running despite being turned on well before she woke up, she hopes that he didn’t fall asleep in the bathtub again. 

Michiko maneuvers around the small dwarf rabbit to set the plates on the counter. Thumper gave no sign of moving an inch, content with munching on the leftover lettuce the servants had given it. “Thumper! If you all you do is stay in the kitchen, you’re going to get fat.” She playfully gives is a small nudge with her feet. Once her arms were free, she scoops him up, giving him a small kiss on his head as she pets his fur. “Now let’s go wake up the sleepyheads.” 


	22. Snowday (BTH)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's cold out. Very cold out. Almost too cold.  
> Rating: G

She didn’t realize tears were running down her face. Her eyes and cheeks sting from the bitter air, she could barely keep her eyes open for more than a few moments. Her hair wouldn’t stay still, rustling and bouncing in time to steps plowing through the snow. They were moving quite fast. But she can’t tell how far they’ve come. 

It’s cold. It’s so cold. 

Michiko presses her cheek harder against the woolen coat, trying to get away from the cold. The body behind had warmed the material, yet the feeling is lost to the wind. Her eyes stare at the hand grasping onto it like a lifeline. The knuckles white as a sheet and the tips of her fingers have started to turn blue. She couldn’t feel her hand. She couldn’t feel a lot in general. She can feel for sure was the numbness which starkly contrasts the stinging on her face. Where were her feet? Her ears? Her tail?

She tries to fight the cold, try to open her eyes and try to understand where they are. But the only thing she could focus on is the rapid foggy breath from her savior. One puff. Two puff. Three. It almost feels like she was counting sheep, her eyelids lulling themselves back to sleep. How long were those white dots falling on them? No matter, they were beautiful all the same. Michiko whispers out, the cracking in her voice does unnoticed. She found herself whisk away into a fever dream on freezing, winter winds. 

“Look, Yuuyuu, snowflakes.”


	23. A life lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another lesson from her dad.  
> Rating: G

“Dad, why is that man sleeping on the ground?” The question was an innocent, childish event. But it was simply a child trying to understand the world around them.

“Hm? Ah, that’s a beggar, little one. They’re people who don’t have money to buy a bed or a home to sleep in like you.”

“How come they don’t have money?”

“…Hardships have fallen on them. Sometimes it’s the hand of fate, sometimes it’s their own doing.”

“Why don’t they work? Nana said that everyone must work to end their keep.”

“Sometimes they can’t find work, or they can’t really work at all. Remember J’chelya?”

“Yea she came in, Mom doesn’t want her to work even though she asked for work.”

“That’s right. And that’s because she’s too sick to be working. How about this, I teach you what to do when you come across a beggar. I’m sure your mother wouldn’t mind sharing a bit of her cooking with a friend.”


	24. Between the Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiko reminds herself of how much has changed.   
> Rating: G

“You know what I’m looking for.”

> _Succeed or be punished._

“You’re awfully quiet.”

> _Scared?_

“Get going, you have a lot to do today.”

> _Perform accordingly_

She didn’t realize how much of her time was spent reading between the lines. How much her heart would jump in fear at the mere idea of not knowing exactly what people mean. Or how it shudders at a vague motion of the hand. When the word tumbles out of their mouth, she hurries to collect it and piece them together. There’s always a lingering meaning. Something implied by the slightest tone. Spaces where the words don’t connect with the feelings. They care little of how she managed to decipher their words, as long as she fulfills her part in their plans.

“I can handle this, just stay behind me.”

> _I’ll protect you._

“Mom! We could bake some cookies.”

> _I want to spend time with you._

“We got this, don’t worry.”

> _I trust you._

She didn’t realize how tired she was of constantly reading between the words. When she left that her past life to find the true meaning in her own, she got the fresh air that was desperately needed. It’s like a weight fell off her chest, allowing her to finally breathe freely. It’s as if they removed a veil of confusion. There are meaning still behind their words, but the spaces aren’t shrouded in mystery. Intentions no longer show through, it’s the feelings that shine.


	25. Catnap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asleep in the library again, Michiko ends up missing a meal.   
> Rating: G

She fell asleep in the library again. It was well past the time for dinner and her food had grown cold upstairs. She had told him that she’ll be up shortly but he knows better than she’ll get lost in between the pages.

Laying down curled up around an open book in her hands. It was the latest addition to the ongoing series of plant reference books. Ever since she saw the stack of books labeled, ‘Places, People, and Plants’, Michiko had insisted on getting the latest copy. Whomever the author is had managed to begin documenting every single plant, either tree, flower, or fungus, along with their origins and usage. It seems that the latest version, now centered around those in the Far East.

Hopefully, this doesn’t end up with her wandering off to find such plants.


	26. Hallucinations (BTH)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hallucinations mess with her head, are these actually her thoughts?  
> Rating: T

The green gas was the most disgusting thing to ever hit her nose. It effectively knocked the breath out of her lungs and the balance from her step. Michiko took a few steps away from the dense cloud, the pungent smell had left its mark on her tongue. She shudders at the thought of it sticking to her clothes, wishing nothing more than to go home. She got her to wish. In the form of darkness surrounding her.

It’s…home? How did she wake up in her office back in Ul’dah? She pushes herself up to her knees, realizing she’s back inside the dress her mother had once given her. Yet something is off? She attempts to stand up only for a hand to grip the hair between her ears and force her to bow down before her own table.

**“You’re USELESS. You can’t do anything RIGHT. PATHETIC child. Couldn’t make a good tool even if you tried. Always running off to please that idiot”**

She wanted nothing more than to spit at the voice. The old, cracked voice of her grandmother. The sole woman that caused more difficulties in her life than the worst of customers. The invisible hand that took everything away from her. A growl rumbles deep in her chest, like Coeurl ready to strike. Yet every part of her body refuses to move.

_I’m not. I’m not useless. Lies. Lies every single one of them. There are things I can do! Like cooking, healing, and… Right? I’m not useless? Did I waste time doing nothing?_

**“You do not need anymore.”**

_Yuu? If he says that._

_That means they’re right. Yuushin would never lie to me._

_He swore to never lie._

An itch fills her to scratch away at her skin, to pick at the long thin scar until they bleed once more. Yet here she is. In a tub full of scalding hot water that burns her skin. She doesn’t even remember getting into it. She cared little for now she even managed to get there. Her mind can’t tell if she’s still back in Ul’dah or in the wilderness of the Far East. Where doesn’t matter? Her throat refuses to allow her to breathe. Her nails dig deep into her skin to spill the feeling inside her heart.

“My knife. I need my knife.”


	27. Knife to Meet You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her childhood friend, Era, decides to try to teach her how to throw a knife. It didn't go quite as planned.

Michiko had never met someone so… energetic? She initially thought he lacks the energy to do anything. Their first meeting comprises of him lying face first on the cold floor and sleeping there, only getting up when she nudged him awake. It turns out she was wrong. 

Even the kids she’s seen running around Ul’dah doesn’t have as much as energy as he does. To make things worse, she had seen him climb to the top of roofs and started running and jumping between buildings. When he came in through the window to visit her, she nearly smothered him with a broom. 

After their first tea party with Y’Shtola, Era had made more visits. Sometimes with orders from the older miqo’te to keep him busy. Most of the time he simply likes to drag her out of the house and show off something in town that caught his eyes. Usually, it’s a strange tasty treat he wants to try or a merchant selling something fishy. Now, he’s dragged her out of town and down the large steps to the closest tree surrounded by ladybugs. He handed her a knife, nearly cutting her in all the excitement. 

“Era… Where did you get that knife?” Michiko stares down at the steak knife in her hand, it faintly like something in the kitchen at home. 

“Don’t worry, it’s Thancred! Anyway, you just fling, like,” he easily plucks the knife from her hand, and in a flash, the knife is a few ilms deep into the trunk of the tree. “Like that.”

Michiko looks at the knife, then back to Era, then back to the tree. She barely had a chance to figure out what just happened, much less even try to teleport a knife from her hand into a tree. “I… I don’t think I can do that, Era. I don’t do magic.”


	28. Echo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michiko goes looking for someone who may not be around anymore.   
> Rating: G

It was the first time she went looking for ghosts. Well, it’s not the ghost she is looking for. It’s a certain soul. She never really liked them, even going through the trouble of making sure that they don’t know that she can see their presence. Michiko was taught to never talk to them. They linger at the entrance of alleyways, in long corridors, and beaten path. Ul’dah is an old city, haunting myths and folk tale are sure to arise. She’s not in Ul’dah anymore, she’s in Grindania. Where people no longer die on stone streets, but in the far reaches of wood where they have lost their way.

Michiko shook her head of the thoughts, tugging through another soul. This one of a small child, he was reaching out to take her hand. A cold chill rakes up her spine as she passes through, a strangled cry of desperation came neither from her nor her companion fills her ears.

Amex would linger. He knows that she sees them as clearly as she can see people. Which mean surely, he would wait for them to come to get him? It never occurred her ask before. She turns to the blonde Elezen on her left, mask covering any expression.

She saw them like there’s a giant crowd around in front of the cave. Most of them are still, simply floating there while others flow back and forth freely like sheets in the wind. Shu stopped her from taking another step, but the smell hits her. The metallic taste and smell flood her nose and tongue, a bile taste rose from her stomach. There’s a taste of blood in the air. She tugs his hand to get closer. She hears the muttering, the wailing, the groans of phantom pain. Her eyes quickly skim through each face, trying to make it seem as if she was drawn more to the patterns written in stone. The vacant eyes stare down at her like hawks, they wait for the slightest hint of fear or recognition. She breathes a small sigh of relief when none of the faces seem familiar.

She needs to head in deeper.


	29. Adore

For him, there’s little she could give physically.

She presses a kiss on his hands, a silent thanks for the things he’s done.

She presses a kiss over his eyes, a silent thanks for watching over her.

She presses a kiss on his lips and eases the weight on his shoulders.

She opens her heart to him, for he is the most important thing in her world.


	30. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleeping arrangements   
> Rating: G

She always let a need to feel Yuushin there.

When they first set out and journeyed together, Michiko clung onto him like a child. Tugging his sleeve to get his attention and hiding behind him when someone comes around to say hello. It felt reminiscence of a time when she was much smaller when someone she looked up to would protect and guide her through life.

Now she clings to him during the winter, latching onto his body and soaking in the warmth he emits. The safety of his arms protects and allow her to hide away from the world. Her dreams were always sweeter around him.

There are nights she would suddenly jolt awake. Either at the sound of Yasuna using the front door or the tree branch tapping on windows. She always ends up watching as his chest rise and fall with each breath.

As she presses her cheek against his bare chest, a gentle hand brush through her hair and stroke the top of her head. She welcomes the darkness into her vision and fell back into the comforting abyss. 


End file.
